


i know i'll stay right there with you

by gannonic, HylianFishFood



Series: Chad and Carlos' Excellent Gay Adventure [1]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Carlos dragging Chad isn't a genre but if it is that would be the fic genre, Gen, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, a nice healthy mix of canadian and american spelling, and by that we mean hes a dumbass, chads a, end of descendants 1 isn't canon, kinda????, special boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-12 09:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11734443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gannonic/pseuds/gannonic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HylianFishFood/pseuds/HylianFishFood
Summary: “They’re gonna be out here any second because someone yelled ‘fuck you’ to a group of villains!”“Don’t be crass. It was ‘fuck y’all.”





	1. prologue ; hello to all your little nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> syd - wow holy shit. here it is. The Fic. plotholes will probably be explained  
> Zoe - yall...i love this fic w/all my heart. Get ready for a wild ride  
> syd- btw theyre not gay  
> Zoe - total hets. Just bros being bros.
> 
> SONG FOR CH1: Kicking and Screaming - All Time Low
> 
> [syds tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/chadlos)   
> [zoes tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/feltgoodinc)  
> [our chadlos blog](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/carloscharming)

For one shining moment, Carlos believed that everything was going to be okay. _Jane_ had grabbed the wand, not Mal, and he almost dared to hope that she wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation. That, once the wand was in her hands, she would let herself be happy for once, let them  _all_ be happy.

And then Maleficent came. Maleficent, who Mal was so desperate to prove herself to, who Mal had followed when he and Evie and Jay had wanted to stop.

Maleficent, who Mal had willingly given the wand to. 

_Fuck Mal. Seriously?_

“We have to get out of here.” He hissed to Jay, who nodded silently and tapped Evie. She shook her head.  
  
“It’ll draw too much attention.” She whispered. “We have to wait this out. Maybe Mal will give us an opportunity to-”

“To do what? Join her?” Carlos interrupted. Evie bit her lip. “We have to do something _now_.”

But they never got the chance.  
**_  
_** “ ** _The time for evil has now drawn near, let those loyal to me now appear!_** _”_ Maleficent shouted, and Carlos’ heart stopped as various adults, and some kids, he recognized from the Isle appeared out of thin air. EQ, Jafar, Hook, Gothel, Facilier, they were appearing _too fast to count_. They all looked pissed, or more excited then Carlos had ever seen them before.

He scanned the room for his mom, and noted with some small satisfaction that Cruella had not been summoned by the spell. Jay and Evie tensed up next to him, worried about their own parents, and his satisfaction turned to guilt. What were they gonna _do_?

“Hmm, that’s definitely not everyone.” Maleficent said from the lower level. “This old thing must be broken. Doesn’t that bitch know that you have to take care of your magical instruments?” She chuckled to herself, turning to face Fairy Godmother. “Obviously not as professional as I am. Half the beauty, too.”

“Green isn’t even her colour,” Evie whispered. Despite every instinct in his body, Carlos laughed, which unfortunately directed Maleficent's attention to the balcony where they were sitting.

“Oh, you’re still up there? See, the reason I didn’t freeze _you_ children is that I was under the impression that we were all on the same team.” Her eyes flashed green. “Was I wrong about that?”

“Guys, please come down.” Mal said, desperately.

Carlos glanced at Jay and Evie. He felt the sharp sting of “ _what the fuck_ ” when Jay gave a small shrug and jumped the rail, catching a curtain and swinging down to join the group of villains. He ran over to his father, who gave him an approving pat on the shoulder. EQ glared up at Evie, who shuddered, but stood still.

“Evie, _please_.” Mal begged (which, uh, Carlos was a little hurt by).  
  
“Evil does not _beg_ , Mal,” Maleficent said disapprovingly. “It **takes**.”

Mal’s gaze hardened, and she looked away from Evie. “Right. I know.”

Carlos gave Evie a look that she recognized as ‘ _Okay. what the fuck is the plan.’_

She grimaced, and gave a shrug that conveyed _‘We need to listen to them.’_

Carlos raised his eyebrows. _‘What about the heroes?’_

She raised her eyebrows right back. _‘You want to end up dead?’_

Well, he definitely didn’t want to be killed by Mal’s mom. They would have to play along until an opportunity was presented.

“Right, uh, we’ll be down in a second.” Carlos said. “But we’re gonna take the stairs, because unlike Jay, I care whether or not my legs are functional.”

His answer seemed to satisfy Maleficent, who nodded. He gripped Dude tighter, and followed Evie down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, she walked calmly over to her mother.

“That’s my girl,” EQ said. “Although, Evie, darling, did you make that jewelry yourself?”

“I...did, actually.” She grinned, raising a hand to her necklace.

“Hmm. It’s tacky. We’ll have to go through your things when we get the chance, if everything is as garish as that.”

Evie’s smile fell. Carlos grit his teeth as subtly as he could - why were they going back to their parents, who treated them like garbage?

“Um, not sure where I should stand.” He joked, but Maleficent ignored him, and Mal shot him a very clear _‘shut up’_ look, so he shut up.

“Well, well, well, now that we’re all organized, what say we give those nasty do-gooders a taste of their own medicine?” Maleficent shouted, raising the wand. She was met with cheers and screams, with jeers that made Carlos’ blood run cold. She laughed, and waved the wand, unfreezing the heroes. And, well, Carlos might’ve not known much about magic, but he knew that she had to be incredibly powerful to just unfreeze hundreds of people without saying anything.

For a few seconds, there was no noise. The guests stood in panicked silence, heads twisting around frantically as they tried to grasp what was happening. Carlos supposed that Chad felt validated, considering that he had literally predicted these events a few days prior. But Chad let out a choked sob, covering his mouth in horror - Carlos guessed not even Chad was stupid enough to say “I told you so” while surrounded by villains.

Maybe, he didn’t know, they would all riot. These people were _good_ , they were heroes. But many of the guests were young adults or teens who had grown up hearing campfire stories about villainy, who followed the rules given no matter what, because they knew that their rulemakers wouldn’t steer them wrong. They didn’t know how to rebel. And the adults present? Certainly no match for nearly every villain they had fought years and years ago. _And none of them were saying anything. Why wasn’t anyone trying?_

Beast finally stepped forward. “You won’t get away with this.”

“Why, Adam, I already have!”

“The people _will_ rebel. They’ll fight back.”  He snarled.

Maleficent let out an overdramatic evil laugh. “If this crowd is any indication? They certainly _won’t_. Although,” She put a finger on her cheek. “There probably will be a small band of idiots, won’t there? I should probably ensure that won’t happen.”

“Wait, what are y-”

“Thank you for the suggestion, Beastie.” She sickeningly grinned. **_"All of those who dare oppose my control, let me be the one to hold your soul!"_ **

A wave of energy spread through the building, Carlos had no idea how far it extended, and the tension shifted at once. It reminded him of Ben, when he had been spelled - everyone gained a dreamy expression, and any minimal struggle or opposition stopped. Well, except for one thing.

Chad was still crying. Carlos’ mind was racing a mile a minute, because that had to mean it didn’t work, right? Otherwise, why would Maleficent look so annoyed?

This was it. If Carlos waited any longer, he would run the risk of being spelled himself. And, as unfortunate as it was that _Chad_ was his only company, it was better than working alone. Chad wasn’t too far away from him, if he could just give him a sign to break for it…

“This thing really _is_ defective.” Maleficent said, glaring down at the wand. “Not that it matters. One scared little boy is hardly a threat against me, let alone all of us!”

As her voice raised, so did the energy of the room. He needed to take advantage of this chaos, fast. Carlos gave the room a quick onceover, and saw that most villains had taken to harassing a group of heroes, particularly ones that had wronged them. His friends (would they still be friends, after this?), alternatively, had stayed close to their parents. Well, his mom wasn’t there, so it wouldn’t be weird if he went to go antagonize Chad - they already disliked each other. The doors weren’t closed, but they weren’t locked either, so he could aggressively grab Chad and get close enough to the door to run.

Chad glared at him when he approached, although it was remarkably non threatening due to the still falling tears. “I knew I was right about you.” He growled, and, wow, Carlos had really given him too much credit for not saying “I told you so” earlier.

“Yeah, well, that was a mistake.” He taunted, before dropping his voice. “Listen, I’m on your side. We have to get out of here, just follow my lead.”

“Why should I-” Chad loudly retorted before Carlos shushed him. “Why should I trust you? You’re a villain kid too.”

“Um, you see my mom here? And believe me, I wouldn’t be talking to you if I wasn’t desperate.”

Carlos could practically identify each individual gear turning in Chad’s head. Gods, he was really going to have to work on Chad’s transparency if this “rebellion” thing was going to work out.

“You can think this over later. We have to go _now._ ” Carlos urged. Chad slowly nodded. “Okay. Stay close to me, but don’t look confident. Just...keep crying. When I say go, you run, got it?”

Chad nodded again. “There’s a back exit on the left side of the room.” Chad added, tilting his head in the right direction. “We aren’t too far from it, there’s just some people from our school we have to get through.”

He then forced out another soft sob. The boy could certainly act, he would be a good liar once Carlos got through with him. Carlos was gonna _rip_ this poor boy apart.

He grabbed Chad with his free arm (this whole thing probably looked a little nonthreatening, considering he was still holding Dude, but it would have to do) and echoed some sentiments the villains around him were sharing (“Haha, yeah, lamps are great,”). He inched closer to the door, controlling his breath and plastering a confident smirk on his face. They were so close, just a few more steps…

He threw open the door.

“Fuck y’all!” He yelled, shoving Chad through the door and quickly following. He slammed the door shut, and Chad shoved some nearby lawn chairs against it, blocking the exit. Luckily, the limo was close by from where the Rotten Four originally planned to ride away in it with the wand. He pulled Chad into the backseats, shut the car door, and nervously looked at the door they had blocked, which was rattling ominously. He set Dude down in the passenger seat, and then glanced over at Chad, who was lying on the car floor to avoid detection.

“Do you even have the keys?” Chad whisper-screamed. Carlos shrugged. “Why are we _in_ here if you don’t have the keys?”

“Uh, Mal has them.”

Chad looked ready for murder. Carlos kind of wondered if it was his _own_ fault people naturally had that look while talking to him. “Then how are we going to _start_ the _car?_ ”

“I can try and hotwire it?”

“You can _try_ and hotwire it? Can you _actually_ hotwire it?” Chad’s face was getting redder, which Carlos actually found kinda funny. The simplest of things, even in the darkest of times, could bring him such joy. “They’re gonna be out here any _second_ because _someone_ yelled ‘fuck you’ to a group of villains!”

“Don’t be crass. It was ‘fuck y’all.”

“Oh, I guess that makes it _okay_ , then! Nevermind me!” Considering how emotional Chad was getting, he kept his voice surprisingly low. “I always wanted to die in a _fucking_ limo!”

Carlos shrugged, containing snickers. “I thought this was the thing rich fuckers like you loved?”

Chad sniffed. “ _My_ limo is bigger.”

Carlos couldn’t contain coughing a laugh at that, moving to the front seat to start trying to hotwire. “Are you compensating?”

Chad’s eyes narrowed. “How are you _not_ freaking out?”

“I live in chaos. It’s my natural state of being.” He grinned. “Nice deflection, by the way.”

Chad ignored him. “I always thought I’d die surrounded by lovers. Or taking a heroic wound. Or after ruling Auradon for 40 years better than Ben ever could.”

“Wow, you got it all figured out.” Carlos mumbled. He revved the engine, praying that it would start, and laughed at Chad’s loud sigh of relief when it did. “Alright, let’s fucking roll.”

“Do you like, carry batteries in your pocket in case you need to hotwire something?”

“No, I carry them in case I need to get rid of annoying, blonde assholes.”

“Just drive, asshole.”

“Hold Dude so he doesn’t get hurt, because I’m gonna fucking floor it.” Carlos grinned, gave Chad a second to grab Dude, and pressed on the gas as hard as he could.

* * *

They drove until the car ran out of gas (because Chad was too skittish to let Carlos “risk” stopping for any refills). By the time they stopped, Carlos had virtually _no_ idea where they were. The woods? Yeah, he could see a forest from here, but that didn’t do much good. Chad mumbled something about horrendously shitty remakes of his parent’s love story, then got out of the car like he was dying, leaving Dude in the car.

“Finally! No more!” He fell to the ground in relief.

Carlos turned down the music he had playing and stepped out of the car. “I guess you’re not a Vanilla Ice fan?”

Chad glared at him. “I don’t know _anyone_ who’s a Vanilla Ice fan. I think you’re in the wrong here.” 

“Keep lying to yourself.” He said, causing Chad to groan. “So, uh...do you know where we are?”

“Shouldn’t you? You were driving!” Chad complained, but he sighed. “Yeah, I do, actually. Charmington is about...3 hours away from here by car. Which we don’t have, anymore.”

Well technically, they still had the car, just not the fuel, but Carlos wasn’t going to point that out.

“Wow, I guess you have some brain cells after all.” Carlos said.

“I was in boy scouts.” Chad proudly explained. “And I was _good_ at it.”

“Of course you were. Anyway,” Carlos theorized. “We’re going to need a boat. If the barrier is down, and Maleficent has already summoned her allies, she probably hasn’t thought to make a magic bridge.”

“Wait, what?” Chad looked terrified. “We aren’t going to...to the _Isle_ , right?”

“Well, no shit. Where else are we going to go?”

“Uh, somewhere the people who just took over Auradon _aren’t_!”

Carlos shook his head. “Look, fuckass, obviously nobody on the isle care about Maleficent, considering the spell she used called _loyal_ people to her side. Anyone left there might have some ideas on how to help us. It's the smartest move, the actual bad guys would never want to go back there.”

“I was frozen when she summoned them.” Chad whined.

Carlos shrugged. “You wouldn’t have caught on anyway. Besides, do you have a better plan?”

Chad bit his lip, and looked away. “...no.”

“Then point us in the right direction, Mr. Boy Scout.”

“...we’re not that far from the actual edge of Auradon. Belle’s Harbor is, like, only 30 minutes from here if we walk.”

“So… what about a boat?”

“It’s a _harbor_. They’ve got boats.”

“We can’t all grow up with access to fancy rich harbors.”

“Harbors are common!”

“Not where I’m from. Stop belittling my experiences, asshole.”

“You lived on an _island_.”

“Why does nobody remember the _magic barrier_ surrounding it?”

“ _Anyway,_ there’s probably a boat we can take.”

Carlos raised his eyebrows. “Did you just advocate theft? Okay, you can never call me out for being a ‘villain kid’ ever again.”

“I’m just saying there’s a time and a place.” 

“Hypocrite.”

Chad flushed, but continued talking. “I know how to sail a boat, so if we’re really going to the Isle...I can get us there.”

“...why do you know how to sail a boat?”

“I’ve been sailing since I was 9.” Chad explained, and shrugged at the incredulous look Carlos gave him. “My dad thought it was important.”

Carlos raised his eyebrows. “Royal families are so weird. I don’t even know how to swim.”

“Island. You grew up on an _island_.”

“Magic border! Do you listen to me when I talk?” Carlos pressed his fingers against his temples. He could definitely feel a migraine coming on. “We are wasting so much time right now.”

“ _You’re_ wasting so much time right now.”

“You were a fucking awful kindergartner, weren’t you?”

“Actually, I was privately tutored until I was 6.”

“Didn’t do much good for you, did it?”

“Hey! I knew my ABCs _perfectly_.”

“Mmhmm. And at what point since then did you forget them?”

Chad dignified the question by walking away. Carlos grabbed Dude from the car and quickly followed, still laughing softly.

* * *

They got to the harbor surprisingly quickly, but that was probably because they didn’t really talk. Mostly because they hated each other, but also because Carlos was lagging 4 feet behind and wheezing, out of breath while Chad marched on. Carlos was not about to start an argument - if he used his oxygen for anything other than breathing, he thought he might die. Fuck, he didn’t realise how used he was to running away from people until he didn’t have to. He had to set Dude down, and it was honestly kind of embarrassing that his _dog_ was keeping up better than he was. 

“You betrayed me.” Carlos hissed at his dog, who just waved his tail in response. “...I’m kidding. I’m sorry. I love you.”

When they reached the docks, they ran down (well, Chad ran, Carlos just staggered), and were both relieved to see a variety of boats.

“Is that one yours?” Carlos asked between pants, gesturing tiredly to a bright pink one with pastel highlights. His lungs giving out couldn’t stop him from fucking with Chad. Chad just rolled his eyes and continued down the dock, but Carlos did hear him mutter “no, it’s not” as he stormed away, so it counted as a win.

As far as Carlos could tell, though, all these boats had motors, and likely wouldn’t start without a key. He knew what car wiring looked like, but boats? Whole different story.  
  
“Listen, I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, but I’m not sure if I can hotwire a boat.”

“You won’t have to,” Chad replied. “There are some sail boats near the end, and I already told you I could sail.”

“Chad, I’ll be honest. When you start talking about yourself, sometimes I just...tune out. Which is just a nice way to put ‘I fuck off mentally because you're annoying and boring’.”

“You are so mean to me, and I did literally nothing wrong.” Chad grumbled, gesturing for Carlos to get into the sailboat they had approached.

“You kinda did a lot of things wrong, actually.” Carlos corrected as he gently picked up Dude and stepped on. “You were a major dick to us when we arrived, you used Evie, you bullied each of us individually before _and_ after the worst skype call anyone has ever had with their parents in literal history-”

“That’s not like, _that_ bad.” Chad interrupted, untying the rope tethering the boat. He had the decency to look a _little_ guilty, but Carlos was pretty sure he didn’t look guilty enough.

“It actually was, Chad! We were all under a lot of pressure to be what our parents wanted us to be: evil. And, honestly? I really didn’t want that, and I know my friends didn’t want that either.”

“Well they had a horrible way of showing it! By, you know, _taking over Auradon!”_

“Their parents were there! _Maleficent_ was there! I’m not saying what Mal did was  _right_ , but you have to understand that it was really hard for us to come here and play nice when everyone was telling us that we didn’t belong!”

Chad was silent as he set up the sail, but his jaw was clenched. “Maybe,” he started. “You guys should’ve just stayed on the isle.”

Carlos’ heart lurched. “Excuse me? Are you fucking serious?” It was probably not a good idea to fight the guy who was sailing the boat, but he couldn’t just let this slide.

“Listen, all I know is that there weren’t any problems until you guys came over, and now Auradon might be fucked over forever!”

“So, what, you would rather confine kids who didn’t have a chance to be good to a lifetime of starvation and suffering?” Okay, this was a new low that Carlos had _no idea_ Chad could’ve even reached, much less within 20 minutes.

“You’re being overdramatic.” Chad scoffed. “Everyone has their own space, you’re allowed to actually function in a small society, there’s an economy-”

“You need to shut the fuck up. Like, seriously.” Carlos warned. “Because what you seem to believe is the garbage arguments that people in Auradon spin to make themselves feel better. It’s _shit_ there. You have _no idea_ what the Isle is like until you haven’t eaten for three days because some asshole stole your shit and you have to carry a fucking knife around so it won’t happen again and- and-”

Carlos cut himself off before he got anymore emotional. Shit, shit, shit, he was so _not_ going to have this conversation with Chad Charming, and _definitely_ not on a boat where he couldn’t run away from his problems.

“...and you’re too stupid to process anything i'm saying anyways.” Carlos finished lamely, crossing his arms and looking onto the waves like an emo kid. Dude whimpered. Chad didn’t say anything, just looked out at the Isle ahead of them and kept the ship sailing in the right direction. This ride was going to be awkward.

* * *

Mal closed the final prison door with a heavy sigh. Her mother had insisted that using Beast’s castle to imprison the coronation guests was “dramatic irony”, but honestly, it was mostly just depressing. She had imagined that betraying Ben, that fulfilling her _destiny_ , would feel so much better than it actually had. 

That was too soft. It was his own fault. He shouldn’t have trusted them, trusted her. Sometimes people are just bad, he should’ve known that, and just left things the way they were.

And then…then what? She wouldn’t have been able to get the wand, to prove herself to her mother? Why _should_ she wish she had never left the Isle and come to perfect Auradon, with stupid princesses and stupid princes, and strawberries and freedom and…

And nothing now. Auradon was nothing it was her mother's- _hers,_ a part of it was hers. **_But what part?_ ** A little voice asked. **_When has she ever shared anything with you?_ **

It was true. Mal never had the security of Maleficent giving her food, meds, _affection._ It was always up to her to provide for herself. And what did she provide this time? A kingdom. For her mother. Not for _her,_ nothing for _her._

Fuck, she was an idiot. A huge idiot, who didn’t listen to her friends or her heart, and now everything was ruined. Her chance at happiness, Ben.

Ben. Maybe he really was stupid enough to be so kind as to forgive her for this, too. Maybe if she could talk to him? Explain to him. Help him. If only-

“Mal!” Maleficent appeared out of nowhere, and it was only due to years of being in her presence Mal didn't jump or flinch. “Dearest, what’s wrong?”

Maleficent took Mal’s face in her hand. Not gently or lovingly, like Mal’s seen Auradon mothers do - it was cold and smushed her face and she could feel nails digging into her cheek.

“I wash jusht-” Mal pulled her face away, forcing herself not to rub her red cheek. “I was just thinking,” She cleared her throat. “About Carlos. And Charming. They got away, and-”

“Oh, no no no no!” Maleficent clapped her hands together once. “Silly girl, of _course_ they didn’t! I let them go, obviously, did you really doubt mommy?”

“No, of course not, but- but _why_ let them go?” Mal couldn't figure it out, truly, but then again, she never wanted to think of Carlos on the opposite side anyways. _Another_ reason she’s an idiot, she never listened to Carlos.

Maleficent tutted. “Mal, Mal, Mal, I’m disappointed. Obviously we’re going to make an example of them! Let all of _my_ subjects know what happens to traitors!”

Mal felt really blessed by her naturally white complexion, because any trace of blood just left her face. “Oh…”

“You really should be grateful that your _other_ friends were faithful to you. It certainly doesn’t do for an Evil Ruler to not have control over her pawns, does it? Why, if they had abandoned you too, I certainly would never trust you to do _anything_ again, much less to rule a kingdom!” Maleficent offered a toothy leer. “That’s why I will be taking control for now. You understand, right darling?”

Mal nodded, what else could she do? Maleficent let out a cackle and patted her cheek, _again_. “Of course you do. I always knew I raised a winner. Keep an eye on these prisoners for me, won’t you? The mindcontrol spell should be wearing off in a bit, and I imagine they won’t be too happy.”

Without even waiting for Mal’s confirmation, Maleficent glided away like she owned the castle - at this point, she practically did. Mal let out a sigh, and she couldn’t believe she was thinking this, but she hoped Carlos and Chad were able to defy her mother. Gods knew _she_ wouldn’t be able to.

She _really_ needed to talk to Ben.


	2. i could go all night right here between their crossfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chad is dragged, literally and metaphorically, through the isle and through Carlos' heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zoe - Yes, this is like 15k, yes this fic has secretly been Chadlos the whole time, yes I love this chapter more then anything I've ever written in my whole life.  
> Syd - enjoy 15k of pure self fulfillment chadlos and also cruella and anthony saved this fic  
> Zoe - that's harry erasure, but okay
> 
> SONG: Dreaming - Smallpools
> 
> [syds tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/chadlos)   
>  [zoes tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/feltgoodinc)   
>  [our chadlos blog](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/carloscharming)

By the time they reached the isle shore, after a _very_ long and _extremely_ silent boat ride, it was definitely too dark out to really do anything. Luckily, that easily let them sneak up the beach, and into the streets.

“We need to steer clear of the marketplace.” Carlos said, not looking at Chad. “We’re taking some back alleys. It’s not that far.”

“Okay,” Chad looked at all of the… filth the Isle was. “Uh, where are we going exactly? And…is there hand sanitizer there?”

Carlos let out an exasperated sigh, and started walking, Dude closely behind. “You’ll get used to it.”

Chad didn’t think that he could. Was he expected to walk in... _these_ conditions? There was grime everywhere, he wasn’t even going to start thinking about what that smell was from...but if he complained, Carlos might actually murder him. And Chad was _not_ going to die on what seemed to be a literal landfill. So, for the first time in his life, he opted not to voice his opinion, and just followed Carlos.

Eventually they got to what appeared to be a mansion, but severely old with withered vines growing on the outside. A bright red, surprisingly nice car was parked in the driveway, but Chad still got _major_ spooks from the house. “Who lives in this creepy place?” He whispered to Carlos. “Are they like, dead?”

“I hope not.” He said, and he didn't sound amused.

Carlos started climbing up the fence, and Chad’s eyes widened. “Hold on! We aren’t staying in _here_ , are we?”

“Yep.” Carlos hummed, hopping down on the other side. “I’d be careful, though. Rumour says it’s haunted by a crazy lady, who feasts on blonde idiots.”

Chad’s breath caught in his throat, and he stopped moving, paralyzed. “There are ghosts here?” He shook his head wildly. “Nope, nope, nope, I am not going anywhere that has _ghosts_.”

Under any other situation, Chad would’ve been somewhat embarrassed to be showing this much weakness, especially to someone who _already_ didn’t respect him. But right now? He had already come so close to death so many times in the last 24 hours, he wasn’t going to let a haunted house be the final nail on the coffin.

“Would you rather sleep in the alley?” Carlos asked. It seemed suspiciously like he was holding back laughter, but Carlos was weird, and Chad wasn’t good enough at reading him to be sure. And he _was_ right - ghosts, at least, might leave him alone. Grime? Grime _never_ leaves.

That didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.

“I guess the house is fine.” He huffed. “But if I die, _I’ll_ become a ghost and haunt _you_.”

“Dealing with you alive is already tragic enough. You haunting me? Truly a fate worse than death.” Carlos dryly retorted. “Calm down, Chad. Even Dude is fine with this. And he’s a dog.”

“Yeah, exactly! Dogs aren’t afraid of ghosts, they can’t comprehend the true power that ghosts have.”

“Maybe, if you’re _really_ quiet, and you stop talking, the ghosts will leave us alone.”

Okay, Carlos was definitely making fun of him now, but on the off chance that he wasn’t….Chad miming locking his mouth, at which Carlos muttered “finally”. Rude. He started climbing the fence, it was a little harder then Carlos had made it look, but he got over with relatively little damage done to his body. His clothes were a different story - ripped and covered in moss. This was the worst night of his life. He wondered how Dude was going to get through, but Dude just walked through a tiny open space in the fence. Chad was kinda jealous, none of _Dude’s_ clothes got ruined.

Okay, he had to get a grip. If he started being jealous of animals, he might as well save the ghost the trouble and kill himself.

Carlos walked up to the front door and opened it, which seemed a little risky to Chad, but he wasn’t going to say anything. They ventured into the house, still dark, which wasn’t exactly helping Chad’s nerves. Carlos, even in the dark, walked around the floors like he knew the layout by heart. Chad, though, was taking roughly 4 steps a minute, desperately hoping he wouldn’t run into anything. When Carlos led them to some stairs, Chad couldn’t contain his fears any longer.

“Are we going upstairs? Can’t we just stay down here?”

“Are second floors more haunted then first floors or something?”

“Yeah, actually!"

He might not have been able to see Carlos’ face, but Chad could practically feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

“Okay, you’re definitely just making this stuff up now.” Carlos said. “Just go upstairs. Calm the fuck down.”

“I hate this, I hate this so much.” Chad griped, but he followed Carlos upstairs, where Carlos directed them to a room about midway down the long, pitch-black hallway.

“Is this a trap?” Chad accused. “Are we going to your torture dungeon?”

“And why the fuck would my torture dungeon be _upstairs?”_

 _“_ Because- Because _you_ were the ghost all along!” Chad gasped. It made so much sense, oh gods, were Jay and Mal and Evie ghosts too?

Carlos muttered “oh my gods” under his breath and opened a door, pulling Chad in. He flipped on a light, and Chad blinked. This room looked…normal. Lived in. _Was this the last place a living boy was seen before his murder? Was this the last place Chad would be seen?_

Carlos moved around the room familiarly. He kicked the clothes on the floor out of the way, glanced at the one band poster fondly - seriously, ‘Rotten Apples’? That was the dumbest band name Chad ever heard. Carlos started going through the drawers, and Chad had a panic attack.

“What are you doing?! You can’t touch those! What if- the ghost- it’ll be angry-” His breath was speeding up.

Carlos rolled his eyes. “Chill, I don’t think any ghosties are gonna get their ectoplasmic dicks off to me touching my own clothes.”

It was silent for a blessed second, before Chad registered what was said. “YOUR CLOTHES?” He shrieked quietly, looking faint. He sunk to the ground beside Dude, who was trying to suffocate himself with a red shirt. “Oh my god, your stuff is here, are you besties with this ghost? Are you going to tell him to murder me? Oh god, I can’t die like that, I’ll pee myself and that’s not at all dignified, I’ll never take Ben’s throne or-”

“As admirable as those aspirations truly are, don’t worry. My uh, _ghost friend_ is out of town,” He snickered like Chad’s life was a joke. Like he were some side character who was only used to highlight how Auradon isn’t a perfect place as was assumed before.

However, he did calm Chad down. “...You promise?”

“Yes, you fucking baby. Are you always this pathetic?”

Chad ignored the jibe and relaxed, reached over to pet Dude and save his life. “Okay. Good. Now, where do I sleep?”

Carlos shrugged, and pulled out what Chad _assumed_ were supposed to be pajamas. “Well, I’m going to sleep in my bed. I’m sure the floor is comfortable.”

Chad was affronted. “I’m not sleeping on the floor!”

“Then don’t sleep?” Carlos suggested. He took off his jacket, then his dress shirt, and Chad quickly looked away. Definitely not blushing.

“I need sleep! I _don't_ look good with eyebags.”

“You don’t look good with anything.”

_“Excuse me?”_

“Here,” A pair of fabric...something hit Chad’s head, making him turn. “These are Jay’s, they should fit. They might be a little big, he’s kinda more muscular than you.”

“Let me sleep on the bed.” Chad said, in lieu of thanks.

“Hmm, for compromise, how about ‘no and fuck you’?”

Chad started taking off his coronation suit (which was very nice and personally tailored and now _ruined_ ), and he noticed that Carlos didn’t bother turning away. “...Are these just pants?”

“Yep.”

“Can I have a shirt?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You don’t deserve a shirt.”

“ _Rude_.”

“I know I am.”

Chad huffed and made the change from dress pants to ratty pajama bottoms as quick as he could. “These are disgusting.”

“Yeah, I don't think Jay’s done his laundry in his life. Goes commando, too,” Carlos nodded, getting under his covers, which looked to be lined with fur and _very_ warm.

Chad shrieked and scrambled to get the pants off him, while Carlos laughed. Chad huffed, looking very dignified in his baby blue, shoe patterned boxers. “That was awful.”

“I know,” Carlos nodded. “You can wear Evie’s pajamas instead, if you like.”

Chad could only imagine _that_ monstrosity. “No. No no no. I'm good. I'm fine.”

“Mmhmm. Turn off the light, please.” Carlos snuggled under his covers, and Chad fumed. Dude jumped on the bed, and Carlos let him under the covers. Dude was being treated _better_ than Chad _._ No one should be treated better than _him_!

Chad got up, turned out the lights, then crawled into the bed.

He watched as Carlos’s eyes immediately snapped open. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Trying to sleep.” Chad shifted, pushing Dude out of his way. The dog whined and went to sit at Carlos’s feet, and Carlos looked livid.

“Did you just kick Dude out of his spot?”

“No, I pushed him.”

There was a struggle as Carlos tiredly shoved at Chad, barely budging him. “Ugh, get your fat ass out of my safe space.”

“I’m not fat!” Chad wrapped his arms around himself. “You’re just a twig.”

“Mmhmm. It’s from years of starvation.”

“What?” Chad blinked.

“I said I hate you. Not joking, by the way. Goodnight.” He turned away from Chad and promptly fell asleep.

Chad could have stayed up and pondered about what Carlos meant. He could have stayed up and figured out how truly horrific the Isle was. Instead, he went to sleep.

* * *

Chad’s first thought upon waking up was that he was alive, and that he had safely survived a night on the Isle. Ha! No ghosts were gonna get _him_. He was an icon, a master of fear, a hero. No one could ever call him a coward after this. He confidently sat up, and made eye contact with a real, grown-ass women sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Good morning.” She grinned.

He screamed and threw a pillow at her. Was this the ghost? Would a pillow hurt a ghost? Why did bad things always happen to him? Oh gods, he was gonna start crying.

Then he heard laughter coming from the side of the room. He whirled around, expecting another ghost (he was gonna die!), and instead saw Carlos, holding a cup of coffee and sitting in a chair near the door.

“You have to get out! The ghost is here!” Chad said, completely blanking on the fact that apparently the ghost was Carlos’ best friend.

“Dude, that’s just my mom.” Carlos laughed, and Chad flushed. “There isn’t actually a ghost, we live here. And you’re really easy to mess with.”

Chad was really, _really_ close to telling Carlos that he hated him, but he was also sitting less than a foot away from Cruella de _fucking_ Vil. The ghost might no longer be a threat, but it had been replaced by something much scarier.

“Uh.” He stammered. “Um. Lovely home you have.”

“It looks like shit.” Cruella raised an eyebrow, staring at Chad. Carlos snorted into his coffee.

“I mean, considering the conditions on the Isle, it’s…” He had to stop talking before he said something even stupider. “It’s...admirable?”

Carlos broke into a full out cackle. At this point, Chad had changed his mind, he was ready for death. Cruella gave him a once-over, and then glanced at Carlos.

“A million boys in Auradon, and _this_ is the one you bring home?”

Chad was too scared to be offended. But, uh...did she think he was fucking Carlos? Because he wasn’t. And he totally wouldn’t. Ever.

“Muuuuuuuuuuum!” Carlos whined. “It’s not like _that_.”

“He’s in your bed and he doesn’t have any clothes on. What _is_ it like?”

“Um.” Chad said. “I’m...not gay.”

Cruella raised her eyebrows. “Wow, seems like a keeper.”

“Mum, I _promise_ , I would not sink to that level.” Carlos said. Chad was a little upset, sure, but only because he was really hot and everyone knew it. “He’s only here because we have to save the world or whatever.”

Cruella studied her son, checking for any tells that he was lying. “He’s your type.”

Chad spluttered over Carlos’s outraged “ _How do you know my type?!_ ”

“We live...well, you don’t live here anymore, but this is an island.” Cruella rolled her eyes. “You think I wasn’t the first person Anastasia called when you hooked up with that twinky son of hers?”

Carlos’ face went blood red, and Chad had to stifle a laugh. Then he thought about where he knew Anastasia from, and…

His brain short circuited. “Wait- like, _Tremaine?”_

“Yes, like, _Tremaine_ , this is the Isle.” Cruella coldly responded. “Keep up.”

“Can we get back to the saving the world thing? Please?” Carlos asked. He started petting Dude, his hand twitching. Why did Chad notice that? Stop staring at his hands, Chad told himself.

“Sounds boring,” Cruella shrugged. “But if you must. First, just let me see that mutt-”

Carlos ignored her and grabbed some clothes off the dresser and threw them at Chad, but Chad couldn’t help but notice how his grip on Dude seemed to tighten. “You’ll need to blend in.”

“Did Jay’s dick get on those too? Because I’m not wearing them if that’s the case.” Chad said, removing the clothes from where they had landed on his face.

“Oh my gods, calm down, I promise these are fine.”

“That’s what you said about the ghost.” Chad mumbled.

“And you didn’t die. So I was right.”

“It’s false advertising! You intentionally misled me!”

“Welcome to the Isle.” Carlos said as he stood up. “Mum, you wanna talk downstairs? It’s been way too long.”

“You don’t want to stay here for your boy to get naked?” She asked, but stood up and walked towards the door.

Carlos blushed brightly and followed her, flipping Chad off behind him as they left.

Chad got dressed in Jay’s clothes quickly, praying to every god he knew that they weren’t dick-contaminated. He couldn’t believe he was wearing leather _everything_ , but it was apparently the only fabric available on the Isle. Oh, what he wouldn’t give for one of his pastel sweaters or an official school hoodie right now.

He looked around Carlos’ room, because he certainly wasn’t going to waste this prime snooping opportunity, and wrinkled his nose. Gods, this room was filthy. Chad didn’t know if it was because of his mom or what, but he was a huge neat freak. He _had_ to fix this - Carlos would thank him later.

He rustled around in Carlos’s drawers, all of which were unorganized. Clothes had just been thrown in, sometimes crinkled into a ball, but either way, it was disappointing. He folded the fabric clothes as best he could (Carlos had _a lot_ of clothes), and then moved to the closet, to hang up the leather “clothing”. The closet was filled with even more morally questionable clothes, but there was enough space to get everything organized, regardless of whether or not it deserved to be called fashion. He had to say, he was very proud of Carlos. Despite the state of his room and the tragedy that was his clothing, he hadn’t found, like...weed, or anything. For a villain kid, Carlos was sorta lame, which Chad was thankful for. He did _not_ want to be traveling with a stoner.

Hmm, what else could he fix...well, without a broom, those floors were just gonna have to stay dusty. Same had to be said for the windows, sadly. He could at least see if there was anything under the furniture that had been formerly been concealed by clothing. First things first, under the bed. He dropped to the floor to check, and...there were… _bottles_ knocked over. _Was that alcohol?_ Oh gods, oh damn, was Carlos a drunk? Booze killed people! Fuck, Carlos was going to die, then Chad would be alone, and probably end up starving in the harsh Arendelle winter.

He grabbed one of the bottles for evidence and stormed downstairs, where he heard Carlos telling his mom about chocolate. Was that kinda sweet? Sure, but it wasn't going to stop Chad from exposing Carlos and possibly saving his life!

He stormed over to the table where they were sitting and cleared his throat.

“Nice family reunion and all,” Chad fumed. “But what the _fuck_ is this?” He brandished the bottle like one might a weapon, but then considered how threatening that might be, and just settled for angrily (but gently) setting it on the table.

“That's alcohol, Chad.” Carlos slowly responded, like one would to a five year old. “People use it to get drunk.”

“He's right.” Cruella added.

Why did they think he was so dumb? “I know _what_ it is, I just want to know why you have it!”

“...to get drunk?” Carlos said. “Please keep up.”

“Kids who start drinking as teens are more likely to have brain damage in adulthood!” Chad shouted. “ _And_ you're underaged. That's illegal, Carlos!”

“No rules on the isle.” Cruella said, raising her own wine class. Carlos raised his coffee cup and clinked it with her. Chad was starting to doubt there was coffee in it.

Wow, wine at 9 in the morning? Blatant ignorance of your son’s potential alcohol problem? If Cruella didn't scare Chad so much, he would've  _definitely_ said something to her.

“I don't have time for your goody two shoes nonsense,” Carlos said. “Why were you going through my stuff, anyway? That's an invasion of property, Rules Boy.”

“I was cleaning your room,” Chad sniffed. “You should be grateful, that place was a _pigsty_.” Carlos and Cruella raised their eyebrows at the same time. Freaky.

“You clean?” Carlos asked.

“Yes! Why do people always _act_ like that?” Chad groaned. “I’m not spoiled, you know.”

“...if you say so.” Carlos responded. “Now, if you're all finished, I have to go make sure you didn’t ruin my room. If you took anything else, I'm gonna be really pissed.”

Then Carlos went upstairs. And left Cruella and Chad alone. Oh, gods.

Chad decided to take a seat, the one across from Cruella. So now they were staring at each other. Hmm.

“So, uh. How's...everything?” He tried.

“Shitty.” Cruella responded, pouring more wine into her glass. “My son lives in Auradon now and he brought back a twink who lives in the closet.”

“We aren't- nevermind.” Chad wasn't going to argue with Cruella. Not today. He had to make another attempt, if only he wasn't scared out of his wits. “How about that weather?”

“Are you always this boring?” Cruella deadpanned. Okay, that didn't work. Round 3 - he had to bring out the big swords for _this_ one.

“Why didn't Maleficent’s spell summon you?” There. She couldn't discredit _that._

“See, now we’re getting somewhere.” Cruella grinned. “I could give less of a shit about what Maleficent does. She only wants to rule Auradon by herself, and those other villains are just fooling themselves. Besides,” she took another sip of wine. “The fuck am I gonna do? Skin 101 dog corpses? No way those shits are still living. Any revenge I could even get would be too much of a stretch and would take way too much work.”

“...Right.” Chad said, clearing his throat. He remembered his mom teaching him how to be nice to people you hated. He doubted Cruella ever taught Carlos anything. “So Carlos is… gay?”

“Well no shit, honey.” She sipped her wine.

“Is it because he doesn’t have a dad? What happened to that guy, anyway?”

Cruella, while showing no noticeable difference in posture or face, shattered the wine glass in her hand. Chad screeched, and jumped out of the chair.

Her voice remained level. “Well, you had a dad, right? And look what happened to you. You think he’s gay because he grew up in a house with a single, fabulous woman? Well, sweetheart, you grew up in a household with a perfectly drab woman, and you still manage to look like an elaborate wet dream of local cryptid Hard On, the secret 8th dwarf, who was erased from history due to ‘exploitation to children’-”

This was too much to absorb. All that Chad could think to say in response was “Wait, is Hard On real?”

Cruella took a deep breath and stood up calmly. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

She serenely made her way out of the room.

Carlos walked down from upstairs. “Alright, I'm done, just-” He saw the glass on the floor. “...Did you, perchance, inquire about my father?”

“I might've...asked if…he was why you were gay.”

Carlos started at him in disbelief. He looked at the glass again, then back at Chad. “...I'm going back upstairs. I'm going to stay there for 15 minutes. When I come back down, we aren't gonna talk about this.”

“Hey, if we’re not gonna talk about it later, what’s the difference if you leave-”

“Chad. I am one second away from literally murdering you. Let me have this. And...clean up the glass.”

Carlos took off upstairs again, and Chad dully wondered if this was what his mom felt like as he picked up glass pieces. He tactfully ignored the muffled screams of frustration coming from upstairs.

* * *

After some extremely stilted goodbyes (Chad was definitely counting the entire event as 4 near death experiences), Carlos and Chad finally left Hell Hall. Chad hadn't thought he would be grateful to be back on the filthy streets of the Isle, but this was definitely preferable to offending Cruella again.

“So, where we going?” He asked Carlos, who was intentionally walking at least 2 feet away.

Carlos sighed. “If there's one person I know who hates Maleficent, it's Ursula. And her daughter is, somehow, even more bitter. Probably cause of Mal. They’re exes. But, uh, they're probably here. We're gonna talk to them.” Then he added under his breath, which Chad assumed he wasn’t supposed to hear, “Harry better not fucking be there.”

“Who’s Harry?” Chad asked, ignoring every lesson about tact he had ever learned.

“I sucked his dick in grade 3. And his makeup is shitty but he acts like its avant garde.”

Okay, Chad definitely didn't need to know that. “I really didn't-”

“You asked.” Carlos said, and walked faster.

And that was that. They didn’t talk again until they arrived at what Chad assumed was a shack of some kind, until he spotted the sign hanging from the balcony. Oh gods, this establishment contained _food_ ? He would _not_ be ordering anything.

“Ursula’s Fish and Chips,” Chad read. “Isn’t that like… cannibalism for her?”

“...Hey. Why don’t you just, like, never ever talk while we’re in there, okay?”

“Most people think I’m witty and charming.” Chad sniffed.

“Well, I don’t, and neither will they.”

“You don’t know that.” Chad complained. “And you aren’t the boss of me.”

“Are you five years old? Fine, don’t listen to me. See what happens.”

Chad stuck out his tongue, which might have proved Carlos’ point, but whatever. Carlos let out yet another long-suffering _“why me_ ” sigh, he might as well have that thing _trademarked_ at this point, and entered the building after picking Dude up. Chad hesitantly followed.

When they walked in, all conversation died out and everyone looked at them. Chad nervously gulped as he surveyed the room - almost everyone had a pirate hat on, arms that looked like they could crush rocks by flexing, and the majority of them were looking at him like he was prey. _Especially_ the boy who had eyeliner smeared on his face like he never washed it off.

“Hey fucks,” Carlos greeted. “Hook, stay five feet away from me at all times.”

 _The eyeliner boy grinned._ Holy shit, Carlos hooked up with _him?!_ “Aw, but tha’s no fun.”

“Don’t care.”

A dark skinned girl (was that racist? Chad didn’t think it was racist for him to call her that) walked towards them, her hair in a bunch of small, teal braids. She was… really short, actually.

“De Vil. Didn’t think we’d ever see you around here again.”

“Hey!” A buff looking boy yelled from the back. Not that Chad _noticed_ stuff like that, of course. “Carlos! Uma, isn’t he one of the ones who called you shrimpy?”

Uma, who Chad expertly deducted was the african-auradonian, let out a deep breath and her eye twitched. “Yes, Gil. Thank you for jogging my memory.”

“You’re welcome!” Gil said, beaming. Harry laughed, which made him look even more threatening, somehow.

“Well, putting that aside, we have a sort of situation on our hands. You guys saw the coronation, right?” Carlos was met by solemn nods and one very excited “yeah!” from Gil. “Cool. I don’t think I have to explain why Maleficent being in charge is a bad idea.”

Gil raised his hand.

“She doesn’t care about anyone but herself, Gil.” Carlos explained.

He slowly lowered his hand. “Oh, okay.”

Uma ignored the exchange. “You’re in Mal’s gang. Why should we trust anything you’re spewing?”

“Well, for one, I’m over here and they’re still on Auradon.” Carlos said.

“Easy,” She countered. “You could be here to lure us in, test our loyalty.”

“Hmm, fair. Okay, I brought this idiot,” Carlos responded, gesturing towards Chad. “Who I would never interact with outside of school under any normal circumstances. But this is a situation where he is literally all that I have to work with.”

Chad offered a meek wave and one of his classic charming grins - all eyes were on him.

“So, who is 'e?” Harry asked. “Because 'e seems like yer type.”

“This asshole is Chad Charming-”

Uma’s eyes widened. “Wait, like, Cinderella?” She interrupted.

“Unfortunately.” Carlos lamented. “And you guys can trust me, his attractiveness is severely outweighed by his idiocracy and general dickishness.”

Ha! Chad _knew_ Carlos thought he was hot. Not that it mattered. But… “Hey! You’re just as mean to me as I am to you. More so, I would say.”

“No one cares what you have to say, Chad.” Carlos tiredly deadpanned.

“Hmm, don’ be so sure,” Harry grinned. “ _I_ might.”  
  
Carlos rolled his eyes, but Chad proudly crossed his arms. He was really fitting in, and at this rate, they wouldn’t murder him at all. “ _See_ , Carlos? People like me.”

Uma looked really disappointed. “I always thought Cinderella’s kids would be...better.”

“You and me both, Uma.” Carlos said. “And he makes me hate him more with every interaction.”

Chad frowned. “I’m, like, right here.”

“We know,” Uma said. “We just don’t care.” She then turned to Carlos. “Alright, you have my attention. I have no idea why you would be here with him if he wasn’t your last resort.”

“Everyone is so mean to me.” Chad mumbled, but he was ignored. Carlos, on the other hand, was the center of attention.

“We need to stop Maleficent, and I figured anyone left on the Isle would probably want to do that too. But I have no fucking clue how to do that, because I know nothing about magic and I also have no idea who is actually left on the Isle. And uh… yeah, that's my big speech,” Carlos concluded, receiving some enthusiastic applause from Gil. “Any ideas?”

It was silent. “...Come to the back with me, I have some thoughts,” Uma told him. “Harry, take Charming and go for a fishing trip.”

“What? Why can’t I-” Chad began, but Carlos glared at him. “Fine, I’ll go hang out with your dumb ex.”

“Oh, I’m very smart,” Harry grinned. Chad was already beginning to regret this. “Ye ever have yer makeup done by a pirate?”

“No, he hasn’t!” Carlos replied for Chad, before disappearing into the back with Uma, followed by Gil, who was asking if he could pet Dude. Why did _Gil_ get to go, while Chad had to resign himself to a makeover?

Chad looked at the hook that Harry was sporting on his left hand, then back up at Harry. “I don’t think I _want_ to.”

Harry laughed. “Oh, this ol' thing has only taken out 3 eyes. I’ve pretty much gotten the hang of it by now, ye should be fine.”

Chad’s blood ran cold. “Nope, nope, I’m not letting that thing anywhere near my face.”

“Shame. I always like mah men to have some kinks.” Oh gods, Harry just winked at him. What was he supposed to say to diffuse this situation?

“I’m very vanilla. Super boring. And I’m not gay.” Nailed it.

“Mmm, jus' sounds more fun.”

Chad’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? You aren’t making any sense.”

Harry just ignored him and pulled out a case from under the bar. He began unscrewing the hook from...whatever held it on his hand, and Chad felt a flash of fear.

“Please tell me you aren’t going to screw a tiny dildo onto that thing.” He nervously said.

Harry looked him in the eyes. “Be honest with me and with yerself, Chad Charming. Would that turn ye on?”

Chad could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as he ran his fingers through his hair. This was the worst thing to ever happen to him. He looked away. “...No.”

Harry shrugged. “Worth a shot. I’m actually just gonna screw mah liner on this.” Chad must have looked confused, because Harry started giggling. “Did ye really think I did makeup with the _hook_? Mah face is way too valuable to risk.”

Chad nodded. “I figured you had to have some common sense. Or that you were crazy.”

“Maybe it’s both,” Harry said as he finished screwing in the liner. “Now open yer eyes wide, or this is gonna be really messy.”

“Seriously? Because your eyeliner isn’t neat at all, I had given up hope of my own being anywhere near presentable.”

Harry’s joking expression quickly soured, and he smeared the liner pen across Chad’s face. “Oopsie. Lucky that wasn’t the hook.” He snarled.

Chad gulped. “Um. Not that the smoky eye looks bad on you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised. “Oh, so ye _do_ find me attractive?”

“Listen, I’m just trying to get out of this makeover _alive_ ,” Chad said. “And if flirting with you is gonna get that done, I’ll take the emotional wound.”

“Keep tellin’ yerself that, Chad. It’s okay to wanna bang me. Most people do.”

“Most people have, apparently.” Chad mumbled.

“That about Carlos?” Harry was just rubbing the eyeliner around Chad’s eyes at this point, completely abandoning the pretense of being neat.

“Why would it be about Carlos?” Chad asked.

“That twinky bastard always goes for us hotties,” he winked. “Guess he’s over his thing for Jay, ay?”

“...He has a thing for Jay?” Chad asked. _Why did he care?_

“Oh, he ‘as for ages. Followed him ‘round the isle everywhere, and then to Auradon.” Harry said. “Always figured Jay was into ‘im too, honestly. But you’re the one here and Jay isn’t, so congratulations.”

“That’s not...I don’t care if he’s into Jay.” Chad drummed his fingers on his lap. “...How do you know who Carlos is into, anyways?”

“I’ve known ‘im for many days and moons.”

“You…you stalked him?”

Harry ignored him and leaned in forward. “Carlos’s got signs. He argues with em like you wouldn’ _believe,_ then he starts pulling on his ear, and _then_ he goes in for the kill- he _smiles._ Doesn’ even know when he’s doing this shit, clueless asshole.”

Chad thought about it. Well, obviously arguing was incorrect, they did that all the time. The ear pulling thing…why was he wasting time on this?

Harry seemed to notice him in thought. “But hey, yeh probably shouldn’ care about Jay. Most relationships built on jealousy don’t last long.”

“Gods, what are you, a marriage counselor?” Chad whined. “Are you almost done?”

“Do yeh always deflect yer feelins’ like this? That shit ain’t healthy,” Harry started, but Chad stepped back.

“I’m pretty sure this makeover is done now! How much more eyeliner could I need, honestly?” Chad chuckled awkwardly. “No more, right? So we can stop having a weird heart-to-heart where you just make things up about me and pretend like you know me.”

Harry gave a disapproving cluck of his tongue. “Can’t hide from yer emotions forever, mate.”

“It’s weird how you think I’m hiding my emotions, because I feel like I’m being really transparent with you. Stop being weird! That’s the main emotion I’m feeling right now, and it is directed at you!”

“Mmhmm. You know, you talk a whole lotta shit. You’d do well here on the Isle.”

Chad choked on his own spit. What the fuck? _What the fuck? “_ I-I’m not-! No! I’m a _good_ boy, I don’t-”

Harry howled in laughter, cutting him off. “Is tha’ what Carlos calls ye?”

“Harry!” A new girl appeared. “Stop bullying the poor guy. Get in the fucking kitchen, Uma wants your input.”

Harry’s laugh died out and he frowned. “Now, now, Harriet-”

“Now!” Harriet shoved him at the door. He went, yelling something back about showing Uma his handiwork.

Harriet closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Chad almost felt bad for her. Almost. “Sorry about him. My brothers a fucking wackjob.”

Chad blinked. Brother? “But- uh… Why don’t you have an accent?”

“Oh, that stupid thing? It’s not genuine. He’s just a tool.”

“Oh.” Chad nodded. “A huge tool,” He grinned, turning on his natural charm.

She giggled, but not in the infatuated way he was used to. It was more...endeared? “You look like a fucking raccoon. I’ll go get your boyfriend,” She turned and left to follow Harry. Chad groaned and put his head in his arms. Great.

A few seconds later, everyone emerged from the back, the conversation coming to an end.

“Just don’t let me down, dog boy.” Uma said, patting Carlos on the back. He rolled his eyes.

“Stop calling me that,” Carlos said. Then he made eye contact with Chad, and started laughing. “He gave you raccoon eyes, holy shit.”

“Can I wash this off before we go?” Chad asked. Harry glared at him. “Um. Nevermind.”

“Yeah, uh, I _definitely_  want that shitty makeup on your face as long as possible. It really brings out your eyes.” Carlos mocked. “And, Harry, don’t say a word. You can’t do makeup and you know it.”

“It’s avant garde.” Harry huffed. Carlos ignored him.

“Thanks again for the help, Uma,” He said. “I’ll make sure you guys get your due reward.”

“I would hunt you down otherwise.” She smiled. Why was she so _scary_?

“No doubt in my mind,” Carlos shouted back as he started walking out, and he wasn’t even intimidated. Gods, that was...he had to stop thinking. Chad hurried after him, he did _not_ want to be alone with those pirates. “Alright, Chad, you’re gonna have to talk to a voodoo princess.”

Hadn’t he almost died enough today? “I _super_ don’t want to do that.”

“Well, you super _have_ to do it. She won’t talk to me.”

“Why not?”

“I told her magic and all its forms was a pile of shit that only disabled Auradonian five year olds believe in.”

“...Oh,” Chad said. “Why are you so mean to everyone?”

“Because usually it’s called for. And I’m almost never wrong.”

“Debatable,” Chad said under his breath. Carlos pretended not to hear him. “So, like, what do you want me to ask?”

“Well, you knowing her name would be a nice start. Freddie Facilier, voodoo expertise extraordinaire,” Carlos mistook the look of terror on Chad’s face for confusion. “Yeah, I know, I thought it was bullshit too. But Uma says that her magic has been working a lot more consistently ever since the barrier fell, so there’s that.”

“Um. Her dad was the...the bad guy who spoke to evil spirits, right? Is he gonna-”

“He’s not there, idiot, we saw him at the coronation,” Carlos said. “All that you need to do is ask her what we need to defeat Maleficent, or what’s more powerful than Fairy Godmother’s wand, and where we can get that. She’s usually in her dad’s shop, though I guess it’s hers now.”

Chad nodded. “Right. I can do that.”

“You better be able to, because it’s literally the simplest thing ever.”

“You have no faith in me.” Chad sighed. The two fell silent, sans Dude (he just couldn’t talk), as Carlos navigated through the Isle’s streets. Chad wasn’t sure if it was normally this filthy, or if it was just worse because no one was left to clean up, but it was driving him crazy. How did they _live_ like this? He almost made a detrimental comment, but then he remembered what Carlos had said on the boat - that making kids live on the Isle was condemning them to starving and suffering.

So it was like this all the time, then.

He opted to not say anything. Carlos already thought he was dumb enough.

When they finally reached the shop, Chad had gotten enough of the Isle’s scenery. If he never had to come back in his _life_ , it would still be too soon.

“Hey, uh, you’re planning on going in, right?” Carlos asked, interrupting Chad’s inner monologue.

“Wait, this is it?” Chad had completely overlooked the shop. There weren’t any signs or anything, just a single door against a grey brick wall. “How do people know that there’s a shop at all?”

“When you live on an island, you know all the shops, Chad.” Carlos chastised. “Keep _up_.”

“Ursula’s place had a sign.” He defended. He _so_ did not want to go in there, especially not by himself. He glanced back at Carlos, who looked way too excited to be sending Chad to what potentially could be his death. Dude wasn’t any help either, he was just happy to be hanging out with Carlos.

“Well...here I go.”

“How much longer are you gonna stall, fuckface? Just open the door.”

“Right.” Chad turned back to the door, and stepped inside, brushing past the purple curtain hanging from the doorway.

The interior was a lot bigger than he expected, but still pretty small. It was really poorly lit, too - only the front room had strong lights, while the back room contained a few candles. The shelves were stocked with a variety of items, empty vials, bottle filled with...something, masks, and some other items he couldn't identify. There were some racks with clothing on it, but, per Isle tradition, Chad thought it was all hideous. He really didn’t want to go any further into the shop, so he stalled by picking up a crystal ball that was in the middle of the front desk.

“Get your filthy hands off my shit.” A voice said from out of nowhere. Chad screamed, that was _definitely_ a ghost. He quickly set the crystal ball back down.

“Please don’t kill me.” He whimpered. The voice laughed, and a girl emerged from the back room. She was…dark skinned (was he really allowed to say that? was he?) too and had weird highlights in her hair, kind of reminding him of Carlos. Why did he think of Carlos?

She also wore makeup that reminded Chad of facepaint, thousands of beads and…. _holy fuck were those real bones?_ Chad had made a big mistake.

“I’m not going to kill you,” She rolled her eyes, why was every VK constantly so annoyed with him? “But I am going to ask you to get the fuck out of my store.”  
  
“What if I’m a customer?” He grinned. He could charm his way out of this, he _had_ to.

She was unaffected, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows. “Are you?”

“...no.”

“Then get out.”

“Wait! I’m actually here because I need you to do something voodoo-y.”

“Oh! So you are a customer.” And just like that, her entire disposition changed, and a smile Chad recognized from annoyed employees in Auradon appeared on her face. “So, what can I do for you?”

“Well, y’know how Maleficent is in control now and all? I, uh, need to figure out if there’s anything that can stop her. And where it is.”

“Is that _all_?” She laughed. “Wow, I thought you were gonna ask for something harder.”

“Wait, is it seriously that easy? That’s great news!” Chad said. “So, like, what is it?”

Freddie’s eyes gleamed wistfully. “The most magical thing in the world, the thing that always defeated the villains in the ends.”

“...good timing?”

She sighed. “No, idiot. And I can’t just tell you what it is, that would ruin it.”

“Seriously?” Chad groaned. “Okay, can you at least tell me where it is?”

“Hmm. You’re Chad Charming, right? Go to Cinderellasburg, you should figure it out there.”  
  
“How did you- ugh, nevermind. Wouldn’t the...aren’t the _villains_ there?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ve been keeping tabs. Maleficent has been focusing on the heroes she feels the most personally wronged by, and the Tremaines have never antagonized her, which helps.”

Thanks, I guess.” Chad hoped Carlos wouldn’t be mad at him for this vague information, because he had done everything right. “Hey um…another thing. Do you know why I didn’t get like, mind controlled?”

Freddie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Chad glanced around, somehow even more creeped out. “Hmm…you were enchanted. It’s old, probably when you were a baby,” Her eyes snapped open. “It’s powerful, too. I’d guess Fairy Godmother, due to who your mother is.”

Chad nodded, happy with the answer. His mom always said he was a special boy. “So, do you take credit?” She stared blankly at him. “Is that a no, or….?”

“Y’know what, I’ll give this one as a freebie if you let me fix your hair.” She snapped her fingers, and her necklace glowed.

“If I _what_ ?” But he reacted too slow, and was unable to prevent her from _ruining_ the gel he had spent so much time perfecting. “Oh my _gods_!”

“I hate hair gel. Trust me, you look much better with the curls.” Freddie said, satisfied.

“I _really_ don’t,” He furiously replied. “And this establishment will _not_ be receiving my business again!”

Freddie started laughing. With a dramatic huff, he whirled around and stormed out of the building, slamming the door behind him.

Carlos, who had been crouched down and playing with Dude, looked up when he heard the door slam. “Hey, wha…” He trailed off, staring at Chad. His mouth was open slightly, like he forgot how to close it.

“What?” Chad snapped, still feeling pissy.

“Um. Your hair. It’s-”

“It’s _awful_!” Chad moaned. “I spend so long trying to get it perfect, and what am I rewarded with? _This_ nonsense!

“...Yeah, you’re right. It’s hideous.” Carlos looked away, pink splattered on his cheeks. Gods, if he couldn’t even look at Chad long enough to make fun of it, it _must_ be bad. “What did Freddie say?”

“Uh, she wouldn’t say what it was, but she said it was in Cinderellasburg,” Chad reiterated, instantly brightening up. No more Isle!

“Just…in Cinderellasburg? Nowhere specific?” Carlos huffed. “Of fucking course, not like a scam fortune teller can be straightforward.”

“She said it was magical, or something. But my parents have a _ton_ of old magical artifacts because Fairy Godmother visits a lot. Dad says she treats us like a garage.”

“Are you saying that I have to hang out with your parents?” Carlos groaned. “Ugh, dealing with royalty on Family Day was enough for me.”

“I did _not_ come to the Isle just so you could skip out on Cinderellasburg. I’d probably, like, totally miss the artifact or something.” A self drag, true, but one that was necessary for the greater good.

“That’s fair,” Carlos said. “I’ll deal with your annoying royal family if I must.”

They started walking again, and Carlos broke the sudden silence. “...Hey. About Family Day.”

“Yeah?” Chad asked, looking over. “Look, I’m not going to apologise-”

“No,” Carlos interrupted. “I'm pretty sure the world will end if you apologise. Well, the world's already ending, but- nevermind. When you said all that awful stuff about the others…why didn’t you rip into me?”

“Well, at the time, you weren’t standing close enough. It was inconvenient for me, I wasn’t going to go out of my way.”

Carlos raised his eyebrows.

“...okay. I mean, it’s not that- it wasn’t really…”  
  
“Take your time.” Carlos patronized.

“Shut up! Okay, it’s just that you hadn’t really done anything. If I had dragged you, it would have totally unraveled my _entire_ argument. Like, what was I going to say? ‘He loves his dog, defying his mother’s stereotype.’ ‘He’s so smart he skipped a grade.’ Uh, no thanks. It would have ruined the whole thing.”

Carlos was silent, and Chad flushed as he realized that he might have just accidently complemented him. “Um,” he tried to cover. “Not that I wouldn’t have been able to think of anything. Because I totally would have.”

“You know that I skipped a grade?” Carlos wasn’t looking at him, but his voice sounded kind of funny.

“Well, you were so tiny that I figured you couldn’t possibly be a junior. So I had Doug check, and…” He trailed off, Carlos was giving him a really weird look. “Uh. This sounds a lot creepier when I say it out loud, huh.”

“I mean, not really, it’s just…I never expected anyone to pay that much attention to me.” Carlos admitted.

This was doing awful things to Chad’s stomach. “It’s not that important. Just...forget it.”

“...Sure thing.” Carlos glanced away, and Chad noticed he was holding Dude tighter. “It’ll be dark out soon. We’ll leave for Cinderellasburg tomorrow?”

It was first time Carlos even seemed to care remotely about Chad’s opinion on anything. “Uh, yeah. That sounds good.”

Carlos nodded slightly, and Chad studied him. “...Your hair. It’s way too obvious, if Maleficent has eyes on Cinderellasburg, she’ll spot you right away.”

Carlos frowned. “My hair? How the fuck am I supposed to fix that?”

“Well, how did you get it white in the first place? Just dye it black!”

Carlos glared at him, reaching one hand up to protect his curly locks. “No! I can’t just- that’s too fucking-”

“And your clothes,” Chad interrupted. “But I can get us something as soon as we’re in town.”

“I am not dying my hair!” Carlos snapped, glowering.

Chad frowned. “Then what? You’re gonna let Maleficent feast on our flesh or whatever she does?”

“Yes! Fuck, no, I’m…I’m not dying my hair. Fuck off.”

“There has to be somewhere I can drag you to get your hair done,” Chad huffed. In almost a 180, Carlos immediately smiled.

“Okay. Yeah, there's a place. But you gotta stay with me. Hey, what day is it?”

Chad blinked, taken aback by the sudden okayness Carlos had gained with the situation. “Um…Wednesday?”

“Oh goodie, he’s on shift.”

Before Chad could ask who, Carlos was walking ahead. But not as fast as usual, which Chad took as an opportunity to walk beside him. About time.

* * *

When Carlos had confirmed the existence of a hair stylist, Chad had somehow thought that, despite everything that the Isle was, the hair place would remain untouched. Getting your hair done was a sacred experience, even villains had to know that.

So when Carlos stopped in front of an incredibly ominous building (Chad was starting to realize every building on the Isle was ominous) with a sign that read ‘Curl Up and Dye’, Chad realized that he would hate the Isle more than he had ever hated anything else before. Closer inspection revealed that the shop was owned by the Tremaines…this was gonna be awful for everyone involved, wasn’t it.

“Change your mind?” Carlos asked, hopeful.

“No way,” Chad said. “You are not getting out of this one. I got the shitty eyeliner for you.”

“You can wash off the eyeliner.” Carlos complained.

“Well, you can re-dye your hair when we save the world,” Chad countered. “Is it midnight? Can we go in?”

“It's like…8pm. I don't care enough,” Carlos pushed open the door.

“We’re closed!” A voice yelled. Chad was taken aback by the inside. It was surprisingly bright, with splatters of colour everywhere, and chairs and sinks and…whatever was in those tubes. He spied a desk with some fake looking jewelry too.

“Get the fuck out here, Anthony!” Carlos yelled back.

Immediately, a slim, kinda tall boy with dark hair came out. He was, by Chad’s standards, the best dressed kid in this place. He saw Carlos and he grinned. Just the look of it gave Chad chills.

“Well, well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in. It’s you. You’re what the cat dragged in. My cat,” He patted his leg and a fluffy (and fat) looking black cat strode towards him. Dude wagged his tail, seemingly excited to make a new friend.

“That wasn’t funny the first thirty times you said it.” Carlos told him snobbishly.

Chad looked between them. Was Carlos…exes with every boy in this place?

Anthony huffed, his eyes raking over Chad. “Well, hello there,” He said, his voice sultry, and Chad’s eyes widened.

“Uh..."

“Ugh, lay off it. That’s your step cousin, you nasty,” Carlos walked over and sat in one of the chairs, setting Dude on the ground to wander free.

It took Anthony a minute to process what Carlos said. “Wait- seriously?” He started laughing, and it wasn’t a nice time for Chad. “Wow! You must _really_ hate me after that break up, don’t you?”

“Don’t be stupid, _I_ broke up with _you.”_

“And I don’t know why! We were good!” Anthony scowled, and Chad felt directly ignored.

“Maybe if you had topped once in awhile-”

“Okay,” Chad interrupted. “Okay, no way, nuh uh. This is not happening, I am not hearing this.”

“Then leave,” Anthony told him snidely.

“I just need my hair dyed black,” Carlos said desperately, and Chad could tell he was trying to stop a fight. “I don’t care if you get Dizzy to do it, my plan already backfired, I just- I want to get this over with.”

Anthony stared at him. “Your hair dyed? _Black?”_

“I know, it's tragic,” Carlos sighed, admiring his hair in the mirror while he still could. “But it's for something really important.”

“No, no, I'm just...so _happy_!” Anthony said. He turned to face Chad. “You have no idea how many times I've tried to get him to change his hair. You must be really special to him. Thank you for this.”

“Uh, just doing what I can.” Chad replied. This was so _weird_ , and Anthony was the first person he had ever met who could talk faster than Audrey.

“Hey Tony, Auntie Annie wants to know-” A little girl walked out, and froze when she saw the new people. She looked at Chad a few seconds, before looking over at- “Carlos!” She squealed and ran over to him. “You’re back! What was Auradon like? Is it shiny?”

“Eh, could be shinier. You’d love it, though.” Carlos grinned.

“Would _I_ love it?” Anthony asked.

“I don’t care.”

Anthony scowled at him, and then left to go into a back room. “Dizzy, go back upstairs.”

Dizzy ignored him, squealing again. “What does ice cream taste like? Are the princesses pretty? Who’s your friend?”

Chad blinked, because, _wow_ , he just found someone who can talk faster than Audrey _and_ Anthony. “It's cold and kinda sweet, the princesses are huge bitches, and this is, uh…” Carlos looked lost at what to say, before shrugging like ‘fuck it’. “Chad Charming.”

Dizzy’s eyes lit up. “New cousin!” She turned and hugged Chad tightly. “And he’s a prince!”

“You know, _I’m_ still here-” Anthony said from the other unit.

Dizzy completely ignored him, pulling back to smile brightly at a stunned Chad. “Are you a prince? Do you live in a castle? Is your mom really nice? Mommy doesn’t like her, but Auntie Annie tells really nice stories!”

“Uh…” Chad wasn’t sure where to start. “Yeah, I am, and yeah, I do. My mom’s great,” And because there was no harm in it, he looked down at Dizzy. “She’d probably love to meet you.”

Dizzy’s eyes widened and she started breathing quickly, almost hyperventilating before opening her mouth and emitting a loud squeal. “Eeeeeeeee-!”

“Shut it!” A yell from upstairs cut Dizzy off. She covered her mouth quickly.

“Sorry Granny!” Dizzy called up at the same time Anthony yelled “Oh shut _up,_ you old hag!”

Chad blinked and shifted a little. “Was that…uh…”

“What do you think?” Anthony asked sourly, coming out front with some supplies. “It’s not like she magically got _nicer_ after being exiled to a disgusting piece of shit island.”

Chad had to admit he didn’t think much about the Tremaines on the Isle, only that they deserved to be there. But now? Well, he definitely didn’t want _Dizzy_ living in the same house as the woman who had abused his mom.

“Right.” he lamely responded.

“She’s _super_ pissed that she wasn’t loyal enough to Maleficent to be summoned off the Isle,” Anthony continued. “Probably shouldn’t let her find out that you’re here.”

“Can you stop threatening Chad and just get this over with?” Carlos complained, sitting down in one of the chairs. “By all means, scare him, but do it after you’ve stolen my livelihood. Then it can cheer me up.”

“You used to be fun,” Anthony groaned, but he complied. “That’s the wrong chair, Carlos.”

“I’ve been here a million times with and without Evie, I know damn well this is the right chair.”

Anthony stuck out his tongue, but let Carlos stay seated. “Hey, Chad, if you go to the desk to your right, there should be a CD player - can you hit play? My _‘_ new hair montage music’ CD is already in there.”

“Your what?” Carlos said, incredulous. Chad shrugged and hit play, and winced at the booming rock music that filled the studio.

“If you turn it down I’ll kill you.” Anthony said, and he started to work on Carlos’ hair. Chad took the opportunity to look around for any kind of hair gel - he had to fix his _own_ hair issues. He picked up some bottles marked as such, but they looked more than _slime_ then gel. He knew that they wouldn’t have name brand or anything, but come on.

“Hey,” He shouted over the music. “Do you guys have any hair gel? That isn’t this?”

“Any _what_?” Anthony shouted back.

“I said-”

“What?”

“DO YOU-”  
  
“I’m messing with you, I heard you the first time,” Anthony grinned as Chad glowered. “Yeah, I can get it for you once I’m done with this.”

“No!” Carlos shouted. Anthony and Chad both looked at him, and he flushed. “If I have to dye my hair, you don’t get any gel.”

“You just want to make fun of me.” Chad sulked, putting the bottle of gel down.

“Absolutely.”

Chad sighed, he was just going to have to deal with this. He decided to look for Dude, a calming presence is these trying times.

Dude was snuggled up behind a table with the same cat from before. The cat looked like he was grooming Dude, licking everywhere and- nope, no. Not watching interspecies porn today. Chad quickly turned around, looking queasy. “Can cats and dogs make babies?”

“Anthony, you better keep your cat the fuck away from my dog.”

“They’re in love.” Anthony cooed.

“I think they’re just horny.” Chad said.

“What’s horny mean?” Dizzy asked. Carlos and Anthony both shot Chad a glare.

“I...it’s not important.” Come _on_ , Carlos got to _swear_ , but the minute Chad said something it was off-limits?

“But I wanna know!” Dizzy huffed.

Anthony gave her a warning look. “ _Diz._ ”

She pouted and crossed her arms. “No one ever tells me anything.”

“Why don’t you show Chad your designs, Diz?” Anthony suggested, giving Chad a look that indicated if he didn’t play along his corpse would shortly be thrown into the ocean.

“Yeah, I’d love to see those.” He quickly confirmed. Dizzy’s face lit up, her earlier question totally forgotten. She grabbed his arm and dragged him to a chair next to a small side table, and then pulled a book out of seemingly nowhere.

“Okay, so a lot of these are actually Evie’s because I love her and she’s my biggest inspiration, but I drew a lot of the ones towards the end,” Dizzy was nervously silent as Chad flipped through her work. “I know I’m not that good yet, but-”

“Dizzy, you did all these?” Chad asked. She nodded. “These are incredible.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you just saying that?”

“No, definitely not!” He shook his head. “I don’t have a great track record with...hiding my distaste for things. If I didn’t like these, you’d probably be able to tell.”

He wasn’t exaggerating, her designs were _really_ good, especially considering how young she was. She would do so well in Auradon…

“Y’know, I used to design clothes when I was younger,” He said, ceasing his sad thoughts before they began. “I wasn’t near this good, though.”

“Really?” She giggled.

“Yeah, seriously! I had a ton of dolls and I would try and make new clothes for them. I ended up stopping because my dad didn’t like it, but…” He trailed off. Dizzy looked at him expectantly. “I don’t know. Just, keep working at this, okay? I’d be really sad if you quit.”

Dizzy nodded, her eyes shining. “Thank you Chad!” She hugged him.

Chad hugged her back, a little startled by the suddenness. “Yeah… No problem…”

He realised the music was off, and he looked over to see Anthony and Carlos just staring at him. Anthony looked like he was highly amused, and Carlos… Chad couldn’t actually tell what the look on his face was. But he looked pretty stupid, half his hair matted up in black gunk Chad assumed was hair dye.

“You guys almost done?” He asked.

“Yeah, just gotta clean this up.” Anthony confirmed, still amused. Carlos sighed.

“It looks so bad, Anthony.”

“That’s just because I haven’t _finished_ yet!”

“You never do.” Carlos lamented, causing Anthony to give him a small punch.

“I’ll pay you extra if you make it look good,” Chad said, mostly for Carlos’s benefit.

“I’m the only one with cash, dumbass,” Carlos groaned.

Chad raised his eyebrows. “Where’d you get that?”

“...Nowhere important.”

"Are you selling drugs?” Chad asked. Carlos glared at him, and okay, that was fair. Admittedly, that sounded ruder when he said it out loud.

“No, asshole! I got some money from Jay before the world actually started to end.”

“And where’d Jay get the money?”

Carlos went suspiciously silent. Chad raised his eyebrows.

“I knew Jay was your sugar daddy.” Anthony commented.

“No, we haven’t…” He looked at Dizzy, obviously reconsidering his choice of words. “Done anything like that. Unfortunately.”

Chad suddenly remembered Harry Hook talking about how Carlos had a crush. Oh. That weird feeling in his stomach that he refused to name was back.  
  
“Really?” He said before he could stop himself. “You two seemed pretty close.”

Anthony’s eyebrows raised, and he looked between the two other boys. “Wait, are you two not-”

“Can you just finish my fucking hair? Please?” Carlos asked. He didn’t look at Chad, which was probably good, because Chad was blushing. Anthony sighed and went back to working on Carlos’ hair.

Dizzy had no such restraints. “So you and Carlos aren’t boyfriends?” She sounded disappointed. Chad was too tired to even correct her on the gay thing, at this point. Carlos remained silent.

“We aren’t,” Chad said. “But everyone is determined to assume otherwise.”

“Oh, that sucks! You’d be so cute!” Dizzy said, humming innocently. She leaned in really close to Chad and whispered “ _I like you more than Jay.”_

Okay, Chad had no idea how to deal with that. He laughed nervously, why was _this_ the life he was leading? _“Um, thanks.”_ He whispered back. She gave him a thumbs up.

“Okay,” Anthony said. “We have twenty minutes to waste until we can rinse his hair. Chad, walk with me.”

“Um, alright,” Chad said, fear gripping his weak heart. He followed Anthony out of the room. “So, what’s up?”

“Listen, man, I know that you’re just being nice to Dizzy because she’s a little kid and all, but you can’t give her any false hope,” Anthony said, holding up a hand as Chad started to speak. “Let me finish. The barrier might be down right now, but we don’t have a way out, and if it goes up again things are just gonna be even worse. It’ll break her heart.”

“I never thought I would ever be saying this,” Chad began. “But when we get the barrier back up, I’m gonna do everything I can to get you two off the Isle.”

Anthony raised his eyebrows. “If you’re lying, I’ll break out of here myself to kill you.”

“I’m totally serious,” Chad said. “Mom always said that she felt bad that there were more kids stuck with her step-mom. I’m sure that if I, like, talked to her, we could get something worked out-”

“Could you, though?” Anthony interrupted. Chad fell silent. “See, that’s what I’m talking about! Everyone _knows_ that the Isle is a bad idea but no one is actually willing to do anything about it!"

“I’m really...I feel bad about this,” Chad explained. “Mom wanted to get custody of you guys when she heard, that, like...you existed, but Dad was completely against it. And I guess I just, never thought about it since then. That doesn’t make it okay,” He hurriedly added, because Anthony was giving him a _look_. “But like, now that I know how bad it is here, Dad can’t shut it down again. I won’t let him.”

“...You need to get others out too, then,” Anthony told him. “I have friends- They don’t deserve to be here.”

Gods, this was spiraling out of control way too quickly. But Chad knew that if he had to live on the Isle, he would die. “When we save the world, Auradon will owe us. I’ll try my best.”

“Valiant,” Anthony said. “Unrealistic, but valiant.”

Chad felt like he definitely shouldn’t ask, but did anyways. “Did your mom ever talk about mine?”

“Yeah, all the time. She’s a way bigger fan of Cindy then Auntie Drizella, that’s for sure. Says that she’s happy Cindy got her happy ending. Drizella isn’t as pleased.”

“Y’know, my mom managed to get her choice of my middle name because Dad named me after him. She chose the masculine version of Anastasia - Anastasius.”

Anthony burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know this is supposed to be a touching moment, but that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. ‘Anastasius’."

“Shut up.”

“It sounds _bad_ _!_ ”

“It’s majestic!”

Anthony laughed harder. “I’m literally only addressing you as that from now on.”

“Gods, please don’t. I told you this in confidence.”

“Um, too fucking bad,” Anthony said. “Wait, do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Chad said, getting nervous. Was this where he met his demise? He and Anthony both turned around to see a line of rats following them.

“What the fuck.” Anthony said.

“Uh, that’s probably me,” Chad explained. “It's just…animals like me. They follow me. Sometimes they sing.”

“That sounds fucking awful.” Anthony said, staring at the rodents. “They better not contaminate my shop.”

“I think Carlos scares them away,” Chad said honestly.

Anthony snorted. “Guess he’s gotta be good for something.”

* * *

When they got back, Carlos’s hair was all done and rinsed out by Dizzy. His curls were blown dry and he was looking in a mirror, running his hands through his hair.

“Fuck, it hasn't been this dark since… like, ever.”

Carlos was really unhappy with it, but Chad couldn’t find the nerve to tell him how his breath caught in his throat and how he thought Carlos looked _very_ handsome.

“For your troubles.” Carlos said, handing Dizzy probably more money than was actually required.

“I’m sorry that you don’t like it.” She responded sadly.

“No, you two did the best you could with a doomed situation. This is my burden to bear.”

When they left (after wrestling Dude and Lucifer II away from a _very_ gross situation Chad refused to recall in case it burned into his brain), Dizzy gave them both a goodbye full of hugs and promises to be back soon, while Anthony gave him a small glare and a wave, ignoring Carlos completely.

His step-cousins weren’t nearly as awful as he had imagined. He really hoped he could help those two.

* * *

It was late and dark out, so Carlos suggested they go back to Hell Hall for the night. Chad nearly shit himself when he heard the plan, but it _did_ make the most sense. Even though he still wasn’t quite sure Carlos’s ghost friend didn’t exist.

He expected Cruella to be a little salty about the morning, but for her to come downstairs, see Chad, and scream to get out- Well, that seemed kind of excessive.

“She’s just in a mood.” Carlos told him, leading him around the back. “She does that sometimes.”

“What, screams at you?” Chad made a face. “My ears are bleeding.”

“You get used to it,” Carlos said, and dragged Chad over to a tree. He spotted something that resembled a treehouse.

“Did you build that?” Chad asked, because it was possibly the most impressive thing he had seen here. It wasn’t super fancy, but the structure looked stable and the wood wasn’t rotted.

“Yeah,” Carlos replied, looking proud. “I did. All by myself, too, when I was like nine.”

Okay, it was definitely impressive for a nine year old. “But you look like you’re nine _now_ , how would you even tinier be able to do that?”

Carlos nudged him slightly for the teasing. “I have abs, you know.”

Chad’s mouth was suddenly very dry, because holy shit did he want to see Carlos’s abs. _No, gay thoughts, you are banished._ “Okay no way, no you don’t. you look like you're bones.”

Carlos smirked. “I’d show you, but I don’t strip for just anyone.”

Okay wow, Carlos’s new (and very nice) hair must be fucking with Chad big time, because it’s making notice little things he never had before, like exactly _how many_ freckles Carlos had, the slight scar on his chin, the almost red tint to his brown eyes. “...Mmhmm.” Was all Chad could think of replying.

“Are you tired? I can set you up in the treehouse with something niceish to sleep on.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure twenty four hours ago you were ready to let me sleep on the cold hard floor.”

“Yeah, well…” Carlos looked away, and Chad must have been imagining the red staining his cheeks. “...That was twenty four hours ago.”

Chad almost asked what changed, but decided to not jinx himself. Carlos was being nice to him, that was good enough. It also stirred up feelings he wasn’t ready to deal with.

“I’m not tired yet,” Chad said truthfully.

“Cool. Uh, we have this makeshift campfire place, I could light that up?” Carlos suggested.

Chad was sure his face lit up. “Yeah, okay. It’s almost like camping! Only instead of boy scouts, your mom is really mad at me.”

“Again with the boy scouts?”

“I learned _a lot_ about myself during boy scouts. It taught me so many life lessons.”

“Such as?”

“Um. Poison ivy is bad for you. And if you try really hard, you can get some nerd to do your homework.”

Carlos wrinkled his nose. “Who in boy scouts did your homework?”

“Doug.”

“You’re _kidding_.”

“We were in the same den, so we basically hung out for years. And to be fair, he _was_ actually helping me because I couldn’t understand any of the shit I was supposed to be doing for school.”

Carlos took out a lighter and started trying to light a leaf. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Why are you setting a leaf on fire?” Chad asked.

Carlos stared at him blankly. “Um, to get the fire started? It’ll spread to the wood, right?”

“Well, technically, but that’s gonna take forever,” Chad replied. “Boy scouts also taught me how to make a fire. Move over.”

“Do, you want the lighter? Or did boy scouts teach you the old ways?”

“Shut _up_.” Chad said, without a trace of venom. Within minutes, the fire was blazing, though not big enough to spread outside of the pit and do any damage, thank gods. Chad had just befriended Carlos, he was not going to ruin that.

“Okay, I’ll admit. That was pretty cool.” Carlos laughed.

“If I knew that starting a fire would’ve impressed you, I would’ve done it back in _Auradon_.” Chad complained.

“...In Auradon? You were trying to impress me in _Auradon?”_

“I meant - fuck, okay, I meant back after the coronation so you wouldn’t have hated me so much. It’s not-” Chad flushed. “You’re totally reading into this weird.”

Carlos laughed. “ _You’re_ weird.” He obviously didn’t mean it as an insult. He stood up. “I’m gonna run inside and grab some shit. I’ll be right back.”

Chad used the precious time to collect himself. He had to stop being so obvious, he had to even stop thinking he was being obvious, or he was gonna say something he wouldn’t be able to take back. And that would, like, ruin his life. No thanks.

After a few minutes, a shriek made Chad jump. There was more yelling, the sound of _banging_ of all things, and then Carlos was storming out of the back door angrily, marching towards Chad. He sat beside him, his posture stiff. Chad noticed he was holding a few blankets, which he threw on the ground in his rage. And then- oh no. A couple bottles rolled from the blankets.

“I’m not getting drunk with you,” He started. “Because we are both underaged and this is illegal, Carlos.”

“I don’t care.” He reached over and grabbed a bottle- Chad vaguely recognised it as whiskey. _Gross._ “But I need this right now.” His hands were shaking. Chad felt a pang in his chest - gods, he couldn’t believe he was going to do this, but…

“Um, I wouldn’t know this, because I am a law-abiding citizen,” He said, grabbing a different bottle. “But we just started to bond and I heard that drinking is less fun alone, so I will take this metaphorical wound in the name of our friendship.”

Carlos’s eyebrows raised and his lips twitched upwards, so Chad counted this as a definite success. “Am I going to be the first to watch Chad Anastasius Charming ingest alcohol?”

“Unfortunately,” Chad groaned. “I think you’re a bad influence on me. Don’t tell my dad.”

“Tell your dad? Dude, I’m gonna have to meet the guy, the first thing out my mouth isn’t going to be ‘Hey, I got drunk with your son’. With any luck I won't have to talk to him at _all.”_

“Yeah, good luck with that. If we go to my parents’ kingdom, you’re definitely going to have to talk to him. He treats all my friends, like, potential political influences, or something,” Chad took a sip of the...presumably whiskey, and almost spit it out. “People drink this for _fun_? It’s disgusting!”

Carlos snatched it back. “Yeah, its fucking repulsive.” He took a very long drink. “Swallow it quickly. You seem like a lightweight anyways.” He handed the bottle back to Chad, who was already regretting his life choices as he hesitantly took another sip.

“You’re right, that’s a little better. Not much, but a little.”

“I mean, you can go up to the treehouse if you aren’t having fun.”

“I’m having fun! I think.”

Carlos made a noise that sounded kind of amused. “If you chug it you won’t even notice.”

“Won’t that just make me drunk faster?”

“Absolutely not,” Carlos told him, crossing his fingers behind his back. Chad shrugged, at this point, the truthfulness of that statement might not have even mattered.

“If this kills me I will be so mad at you.” He said, before grabbing the bottle.

Carlos grinned at him. “Bottoms up!” He gave Chad two thumbs up. Chad started to chug, which might have been a bigger mistake than he realized. He only got through less than a quarter of the bottle before he pulled it away with disgust.

“That was worse! I _hate_ you.”

Carlos just took the bottle away. “No you don’t,” He took another drink. Chad dully noticed he hadn’t moved his left arm much.

“I don’t, but it was easier when I did.” Chad confirmed. “Hey, did...did somethin’ happen? To your arm?”

“Oh god, you’re drunk already,” Carlos said, sipping a bit. “I knew you would be a lightweight. You lightweight.”

“That’s not an answer...and everyone tells me _I_ deflect.”

“Somehow you’re _less_ of an idiot when drunk,” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Figures.”

“I’m not an idiot. I just have a really good...what’s the word,” Chad hesitated. “For when you think something and you don’t say it because you don’t need to?”

“...brain to mouth filter?”

“Yeah! I’m good at that. Filtering.”

“Okay, that’s a lie.”

“Maybe I’ll tell the truth when you do!”

“Fine!” Carlos rolled his eyes and muttered some not nice things about Chad under his breath. He stared into the flames. “Sometimes... when mom gets angry she… gets physical.Throws stuff. Usually at me.” He took a sip of booze again, his angry face coming back. “She can be perfectly fine and normal, then out of nowhere it’s just… every little thing I do sets her into a rage.”

“Oh.” Chad didn’t know how to respond. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t stop her from doing it.”

A terrible thought occurred to Chad. “Was it my fault? That your mom is mad?”

“...No. She gets mad at everything, really,” Carlos didn’t look at him.

“I’m sorry,” He said again, and this was probably the most he had apologized, ever. “I’m glad it wasn’t my fault, though. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Hmm, yeah. You’re a softie drunk, that’s adorable.”

“I’m always adorable. It’sa part of my charm.”

“And we’re back to normal Chad,” Carlos sighed dramatically in disappointment. “Of course it was too good to be true.”

“That’s rude. I can’t even defend myself.”

“Defend yourself from what?” Carlos leaned on Chad’s shoulder. The flames reflected on his face, and made it seem brighter, and his eyes reflected the reds and oranges and… now Chad was definitely looking at his lips.

“I was gonna say this assault on my chara-characature- _character_ ,” Chad started. “But I’m really not sure what.”

Carlos huffed out a soft laugh. “Honey, if I was assaulting your character, I could do _much_ worse.”

“I’m drunk, you can tell me to be a better person when I’m sober,” Chad whined.

“All of the jokes and roasting aside…Chad, you’re actually not that bad of a guy.” He immediately made a face. “Gods, that felt so wrong to say.”

The butterflies in Chad’s stomach got a lot more intense. “You really think so?”

“Yeah I mean, I get it. If a bunch of you guys came to Isle strutting your stuff, I wouldn’t like it either. Though, those would be _real_ different circumstances.”

“I was mean, though. I shouldn’ta been mean.”

“Yeah, I won’t argue with that. You were a jackass.”

“All of your names for me have the word ‘ass’ in them.”

“I like ass.” Carlos snickered.

“Me too,” Chad said without thinking.

“Pretty sure not in the same way,” Carlos shook his head. Chad didn’t reply.

“Hey, uh,” He finally said. “Y’know how you had...or have, I don’t know, a crush on Jay?”

“Yeah, I have a crush on him,” Carlos flushed slightly. “You’re not going to lynch me, right?”

“No, I’m just...how’d you know? That you liked him?”

Carlos shrugged a little. “Uh… well I guess I just. Started noticing him more? Little things. Like how pretty his eyes are, or certain things he does or doesn’t like. His little quirks. You know that when Jay’s nervous, he plays with his earring? It’s cute.” Carlos smiled to himself, but it was a weird little smile that Chad had never seen before. “Why am I telling this to _you_?” He asked himself softly, before clearing his throat. “I mean, uh…I hope he’s okay. Jay, I mean.”

“Um. I’m sure he is.” Chad wasn’t so sure that the words of a drunk person would be that comforting, much less the words of a drunk person having an entire internal crisis. Which Chad was. Because all the things Carlos had mentioned sounded an awful lot like...he couldn’t do this.

“Anyways, your turn,” Carlos said, shifting and getting off Chad. “I told you about my mom _and_ Jay when you asked. Why did you say you liked ass?”

Of course _that’s_ what Carlos focused on. Chad’s filter had entirely abandoned him. He had barely considered the question before the words flew out of his mouth.

“I’m gay.” He instantly covered his mouth, oh gods, he was so fucking dead.

Carlos went kinda still. “Oh.” He shifted nervously. “Are you making fun of me?”

Chad shook his head, looking at the fire. “I’m...I’m gay.” He turned to face Carlos. “I’ve never said that out loud before.”

“Uh… good job?” Carlos shifted. “Sorry, I think. I dunno. I’ve been flamboyantly out of the closet since I was eight, I don’t know how to do this.”

“I don’t either,” Chad whispered. “My dad is gonna fucking kill me.” He snapped to attention, suddenly serious. “You can’t tell him. Not that I think you will, or anything, but in case that wasn’t clear.”

“Hey, don’t worry,” Carlos raised his (right) arm in surrender. “I won’t tell. I’m good at keeping, uh, secrets.”

“Thanks.” Chad said, looking back at the fire.

“So…do you think Ben is hot?”

Chad let out a shaky laugh. “I used to. But, uh, Doug was kinda my first crush.”

“ _Why?_ ” Carlos suddenly grinned. “Wow, boy scouts really did teach you a lot, huh?”

“Kinda, yeah. It was _very_ unfortunate.”

Carlos laughed slightly. “I thought about Doug, but he's too…nerdy. I guess I have a thing for Tourney players.”  
  
“Is that why you haven’t quit yet? Because you have no love for the sport.” Chad completely ignored the hopeful part of his brain that was screaming that _he_ was a Tourney player, too.

Carlos’s blush was bright. “Yeah, actually. I thought about becoming a cheerleader a few times too, so I’d stop getting bruises. And I look damn good in a skirt.”

Chad was _not_ going to think to hard about that, hard as it might’ve been not to. “I can ask Audrey, after all this. She’d let you on.”

“Would she? She’s the only one who hates us more than you,” Carlos hesitated. “Okay, well, hates Mal, I guess.

“I don’t hate _you_ ,” Chad said. “And, uh, she’s my best friend. She owes me for letting her fake-date me to make Ben jealous.”

“You know, that fake dating broke Evie’s heart. After you, y’know, manipulated her into doing all your work for you. _Then,_ after aforementioned heartbreaking, you ratted her out and almost got her kicked back to the Isle. You want to know who loves Auradon most? Evie. It would have literally killed her.”

“I- I didn’t,” Chad stammered, completely unprepared. “I know this is gonna sound shitty, but I really didn’t think of it that way. I was just...doing what I always did, with girls. I didn’t really think about it like a relationship, it’s not-”

“That’s not an excuse, Chad.”

“I really don’t know what you want me to say!”

Carlos sighed. “...Yeah, okay. I mean, considering how now I _know_ you’re gay, and _wow,_ I need to step up my gaydar, you better stop pulling this shit.”

Chad rubbed his arm. “But I can’t just...come out of the closet. Or stop dating girls. My dad would know something was up.”

“Why does your dad’s opinion matter so much?”

“If I can’t be king, which I can’t, I need to do something to make him proud. If he knew I was gay, he wouldn’t...I don’t know. Respect me? Love me? I don’t wanna find out.”

“So what? You’re going to live your whole life with a _girl_?”

“I always figured so, yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s not like most royal marriages are actually happy, healthy relationships.”

“That sounds bloody fucking awful.”

“Yeah.” He wasn’t gonna cry. He _wasn’t_ gonna cry. “Well. Y’know.”

“I don’t. Chad. Why the fuck would you do that to yourself?” Carlos’s voice was surprisingly soft.

He fidgeted. Okay, maybe he would cry a little. “Because I can’t...do anything else. I’m a coward. I know that.”

Carlos patted his arm a little. “No, you’re not. Who cares what your dad thinks, Chad? Isn’t that what all of this is about? We’re not our parents, and they don’t always know what’s right. You make your own destiny.”

That was it. Tears started streaming down Chad’s face, and he didn’t think he could stop them. He hugged Carlos, gripping him as tight as he could. “Thank you,” he sobbed. “I don’t deserve this from you, I- I was such a dick, a- and…” He hiccuped, burying his face in Carlos’ shoulder. “Thank you so much.”

Carlos rubbed his back. “I’ll forget about the past if you will.” Chad made an affirmative sound as best as he could, considering the tears.

They stayed like that for a while, until Carlos pulled away. “Let’s get you set up in the treehouse, alright? You need sleep.”

Chad choked out a teary laugh. “Gods, I really do, I’m so overly emotional right now.” He rubbed his eyes, trying to dry some of the tears. “Jeez. This is so dumb.”

“Emotions are dumb.” Carlos affirmed. “And you’re still drunk. Let's go, come on.” He helped Chad up. “I swear to god if you don’t remember this tomorrow, I will be _so_ pissed.”

“Make sure I don’t fall down the ladder.” Chad said.

“No shit. Thanks.” Fortunately, They made it up there without incident. Carlos went back down and brought up blankets. The treehouse was even more personalised than his room, blueprints and drawings on the walls, fabric discarded in the corner and shiny trinkets everywhere.

But Chad didn’t really register any of this, because he was using some throw away furs as the _comfiest pillow on earth._ He was exhausted - you don’t get drunk for the first time ever _and_ come out for the first time ever in one night without using up all your energy. Especially not when you cried through the entire ordeal.

Carlos made up some makeshift beds and laid Chad down, tucking him in. Chad was too exhausted to even feel humiliated. Carlos snuggled up beside him, and before Chad passed out, he noticed him tugging on his earlobe.

* * *

Evie was sitting in her new room, on her new bed, gazing at all the sparkly jewels and dresses she had gotten. Well no, not her. Her mother.

The room was nicer than anything she ever had at the Isle, but… she didn’t like it. It was too big, too empty- she would give almost anything to be back in her dorm with Mal. She missed making things herself and laughing with her friends and being smart - all things that she knew she wasn’t allowed to have, anymore. _Royalty_ had servants. _Evil_ had minions. And she was both.

It wouldn’t have been so bad, though, if all her friends were there. If all her friends were _safe_. But Carlos...was off doing who-knows-what, with his name on Maleficent's death list as soon as she got the time. Poor Carlos.

Evie was interrupted from her thoughts by a knock on the door. “Who is it?” She called out in what she liked to call her ‘princess voice’. It was the one her mother liked.

“Me,” Mal’s voice said. Then she opened the door without waiting for Evie’s confirmation. “Hey.”

“Oh, hello Mal,” Evie said. Then, a little cruelly, “Having fun?”

“Cut the crap, E,” Mal said miserably. “You know I’m not.”

“Me neither,” Evie sighed. “Why’d your mom have to summon _all_ her allies?” Evie also wondered why Mal had even given up the wand, but she would give Mal a break. She knew Mal regretted it.

“I don’t know,” She sighed, closing the door behind her. “But now… ugh. I can’t even see Ben. She has me on house arrest because Carlos _decided_ to run off and play hero.”

“ _Carlos_ did the right thing and you know it.” Evie responded. “And I don’t know _what_ you expected to happen with Ben. Your mom is probably gonna kill him, you know that, right?”

“I don’t know what I thought was gonna happen!” Mal stressed. She fell onto Evie’s bed, face first, groaning. “Trust me, I’ve been lamenting how much of an idiot I am since yesterday.”

“Well, what’re we gonna do about it?” Evie asked. “We can’t just let Carlos do this by himself.”

“...I know. We’ll need a plan. And then to tell Jay. Jafar’s got him by his side at all times, it’ll be hard.” Mal sat up. “What if we found out where Carlos is? And send mom in the opposite direction?”

Evie gasped. “That would totally work! Mom said I could keep the magic mirror, mostly because she’s going to get a newer one, but still! We can ask it! And then _you_ can tell your mom, because she’ll just think you’re desperate to get her approval!”

That might’ve been a little close to home, because Mal looked a little put out. Evie shot an apologetic grin, then jumped up from her bed and ran over to her drawers, where she had buried the mirror in clothes. She might’ve gotten to keep it, but she wasn’t entirely convinced that her mom wouldn’t change her mind, and it would be easier to say she lost it if she didn’t carry it on her person.

Mal hovered behind her. “Okay. Ask it to show Carlos, come on. Ew, wait,” she covered the mirror with her hand. “What if he’s in the middle of getting changed or something?”

“So? We’ll look away.” Evie rolled her eyes.

“Evie! I don’t want to see a naked Carlos!”

Evie peeled Mal’s hand off the mirror. “Mirror mirror, in my hand, where is Carlos in the land?”

The mirror shimmered to life, showing the dark, sleeping form of Carlos… snuggling Chad.

“What the fuck.” Mal said. “What the _fuck.”_

“I’m stuck between thinking this is cute and wondering why the fuck he’s doing this with _Chad_ ,” Evie pondered. “Is Chad gay? That explains...some things.”

“I don’t care if he’s gay, he’s an asshole,” Mal snatched the mirror from Evie. “How do you zoom out? I don’t want to look at this. I wish I saw naked Carlos instead.”

“You are so dramatic. I almost _dated_ Chad, if anyone should be freaking out, it’s me. Either way, Carlos is killing it.” Evie held out her hand. “Give me the mirror back, Mal.”

Mal handed the mirror back and made a retching sound. “Just make it go away.”

Evie laughed. “Mirror, zoom out.” The mirror slowly revealed the treehouse they knew Carlos had built, and then the Isle.

“They’re on the isle?” Mal mumbled to herself. “Smart.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll tell my mom they’re in Cinderellasburg. That makes enough sense, ‘cause of Chad’s parents. But...we need something else to do in the meantime.”

“Well, if Carlos...and Chad, I guess, actually do manage to save the world, it’s not gonna do much good if Ben’s dead.” Evie shrugged.

“Jailbreak? Sweet,” Mal grinned for the first time since the coronation. “Jay’s going to love that.”

Evie laughed. “Ben probably will, too. Y’know,” she added. “I was really worried that you had gone...full evil. And that you were done with us. I’m glad that you aren’t.”

Mal wrapped an arm around her. “Even if I did go ‘full evil’, I’d never turn against you guys. Ever.” Evie leaned her head against Mal’s shoulder.

“Good.”

“No we’re not,” Mal told her, and then she laughed and kissed Evie’s cheek.

Evie blushed and hoped for the best. Not just for Carlos, but for her whole family. Her _true_ family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer - Carlos might encourage underaged drinking but we do not. Just because Chad succumbed to peer pressure doesn't mean y'all should.


End file.
